Three's a Charm
Day 1 7/19
I guess I'm getting more comfortable in this toxic relationship with the green bag. I had no effects and I even stayed awake the entire time.
I arrived home to the sweetest care package from Anna. It looks like my 3 musketeers addiction may be replaced with a devil dog habit. At least I'll have to go through a dealer who is 1500 miles away. That should curb my access.
Good news about my Ct scan..my lungs are clear and fluid is lessening. The fluid around my heart (that I didn't even know about) is gone. But the most exciting part is that my spleen is decreased significantly along with all the other parts that were being invaded. All the enlarged lymph node chains that were so prominent before are just a blur now!! That's super exciting!
The rattling in my side is nearly gone and sleep was a little easier last night. So thankful for so much.
White count from a few days ago is 3.9. Nice!
D2
No chest pain, no rattle...finally some good sleep!
Day two is with Mr green bag's little brother. He is also green; just a lot smaller :) Our dates are short ones- quickies if you will.
Non eventful. Sorry brother bag.
I spent the afternoon doing a little cleaning just trying to stay busy...don't know why
D3
Didn't sleep much last night but not because of any discomfort. My day started at 2 am and it's been a good one. I spent most of it at the lake with the kids. The sunshine felt good. I’m ending the day with waffles and some New Hampshire syrup. I think I'll sleep good tonight.
D4
A little bit of left side (spleen area) pain again today. It's similar to last time (a few days sooner) and a cramp type pain in the back of the other side when I sit.
Whatever. :(
An afternoon with family helped.
D5
Ditto yesterday.
Did my weekly lab work.
(White count from this:3.4)
D6
Ditto the pain again today. Took some pain meds which don't really seem to be helping. Also nauseated this evening.
Going in to see the Dr's PA in the morning.
D7
So I have a strained back muscle. I never thought that could be so painful but I am so happy I don't have sick kidneys! Unfortunately I am sure this diagnosis isn't going to help my attempts to be independent
I rested like I was instructed to. Don't like it but muscle relaxers make it easier to do.
(White count from today's visit: 2.8)
D8
Another day of doing little to nothing. It's helping.
In my attempts to sit and do little to nothing I have realized I have unlearned most of my photography knowledge because I haven't been exercising it. That’s disappointing.
D9
I decided I probably strained my back by trying to improve my posture-self diagnosis.
Ditto doing nothing all day but pain is pretty much gone.
Muscle relaxers are very relaxing.
D10
Pain free-med free day. Body is tired.
My mind is tired of my body doing nothing.
D11
I walked a mile today. It felt very good and surprisingly I was able to maintain a pretty good pace.
My body is the type of tired I expect from low blood counts. I maybe should be staying down more but if I sit still I just feel even more tired.
Walking felt so good that I hope it doesn't set me back. Also hoping my legs don't scream at me during the night!
D12
No screaming legs!!
Max tells me this morning-
Don’t be so focused on what you love to do that you neglect what needs to be done.
A very good reminder. Interestingly my plan for today is to art and rest which is both of those things.
Body still tired.
A good day for thinking.
D13
Walked again this morning.
I think it's time to stop anticipating the worst and just forge my way through the little inconveniences.
It was a good day!
D14
Did labs today.
Life is good.
(White count 2.1)
D15
Walked my mile, did some cleaning, watched some Netflix.
Good day
D16
Feeling good! Did my usual morning weight workout. It's about time to bump it up to the next level which will put me closer to where I was when I had to stop.
Interestingly I haven't lost but instead have gained a few pounds. I don't like the thought of becoming fat again so gonna have to watch that new development!
Enjoyed a family night at Johnny’s house!
D17
I walked my mile this morning and thoroughly enjoyed my music, the sunrise and the ditch flowers. I took a little time in the afternoon to soak up some August sun. It was draining and refreshingly energizing all at once.
D18
It's Panic! day! And I'm not even going to worry about being amongst thousands of germs people!
It was amazing- much needed musical medicine. And my photography attempts paid off so I feel less bummed that I might have lost it all.
D19
Even with just four hours of sleep I did my morning walk and kept my pace. Must have some ‘Urielectric ‘ left from last night!
D20
I did my weekly labs. If it weren't for that I could easily forget what I'm fighting. I am feeling so good that a tiny part of my mind wants to worry that maybe the treatment isn’t doing what it’s supposed to. But I’m poo-pooing that thought when it arises and replacing it with being thankful that I am tolerating it so well Keeping the faith! I had a house full of kids playing games on a rainy day. This makes my innards even happier!
(white count… 1.8)
D21
I added some extra length to my mile walk. I look forward to my morning encounter with the sunrise, It is motivating.
My first inclination is to say that my recent gaining of a few pounds is most likely muscle but that's what I proclaimed before when I became the likeness of a birthday balloon. Even though the muscle theory may be true for this moment, I'm going to try and avoid that mindset.
D22
My Facebook memory for today says...Some people are unforgettable. Jon is for sure one of them. Memories of him are as inspirational to me now as he was when he made them. I will forever admire his outlook despite everything he faced and his determination to make each day count with a smile and no regrets.
As I have done for the past decade, I ate some chocolate for him on this day.
D23
I added a little more to my mile this morning and did it within the same time as I had been. Go me!
Definitely enjoying time with my grands during this handful of days before we go back to school.
D24
I'm not sure what possessed me to sign up for a midnight 5k but I did. It's not the 5k that I question but the midnight part. Well, also learning about the potential for copperheads along the route is troublesome. But I do love a challenge...
Woke up at 2am this morning so an added element to the challenge will be staying awake to drive an hour back home!
D25
I did last nights race in less time per mile than I have been doing in the mornings. Beforehand I had the notion that to walk the 5k in an hour would be quite an accomplishment albeit an unlikely one. Just before I turned the last corner I looked to see how many more songs were on my playlist and noticed the time. That's when I realized that I was super close to having done what I discounted as even a remote possibility. An hour and three minutes on the finish line timer may seem ridiculous to others but it made me pretty stinkin' happy. Shortly after that it dawned on me that my recent blood count was a low 1.8. That made this an even more amazing and encouraging experience.
I'm pretty proud of my body today. It isn't sore which I will take to mean it's finally happy.
D26
The best walks are the ones I look for reasons not to do. I kept my warp speed from Saturday night. Must be these Rocket Dogs.
I met my new oncologist and I approve! He went over my two latest CT scans and I'm somewhat amazed at the difference. I wonder how did I not know I was ill. I will most likely have the six, not four cycles of chemo but I'm okay with that. He reassures me that feeling good is okay and that the treatment is definitely working.
(White count: 2.0)
D27
I'm curious what yesterday's blood work shows. Either it's still low from last week or my activity level is catching up to me. If I sit still very long I get that deep down exhausted feeling. Since I only have today and tomorrow before I go for round four, as much as I don't want to, I might oughta stop for a little while.
D28
Too rainy to walk today so I hopped on ol Schwinn. It's been a while but I put in a 10 minute ride and remembered all the things I love about biking.
Not all of today ended as I had hoped but it gives me pause to think of a music lyric...
'Sometimes the only payoff to having any faith is when it's tested again and again...'
I am ever so proud of my son and of my granddaughter and I will be praying for those with moral deficiencies and those she cares for.
Even though I will be starting out with a good amount of fatigue, I am not at all apprehensive about tomorrow's fourth round.
